Erection Day...

Election Day 2012 is finally upon us.  So regardless of who you are, or where stand on the issues, get your ass out and vote today.  Even if your choices suck...

While I hate the lag of dueling videos, here's a little inspiration for you all...

On Second Thought...

It seems the fine folks that comprise the Overland Park City Council, are having some second thoughts regarding the open carry law recently enacted last month, as reported by KCTV 5.  As the current law stands, any Overland Park resident is permitted to carry a handgun in open sight, provided the gun is holstered and the safety lock is engaged.  And when I say "any Overland Park resident", I mean any resident who lawfully owns a handgun.  That's right, no permitting process, background check, training, etc.  Go purchase a gun, strap it on, and mosey on about town if it's to your likin'.  Clearly, there was a lot of thought put into the crafting of the ordinance, prior to loading it onto a piece of paper, and firing it into the law books. 

Facing an increasing amount of pressure from some concerned citizens, the council is now rethinking what they have done.  A new proposal would require anyone openly carrying a handgun, to have first secured a concealed carry permit.  This is important, because obtaining a concealed carry permit requires proof of training, and that an applicant not have certain criminal convictions on his/her record.  In other words, let's make sure you at least have the basic knowledge of how to use the lethal object, and that you don't have a criminal history indicating you may not be the most responsible person to be hauling around a deadly weapon.  Kind of makes sense, right?  So the question is, why in the hell weren't these concerns something the council thought about before passing the original ordinance?!  I mean, it's not like we're talking about some statue of a topless lady out in the open, here!  We're talking about guns, that fire bullets, that kill people!  Where in the hell is the public outcry from Joanne Hughes on this on?!  I thought she cared about the safety of her children?!

The fact is, tens of thousands of people are killed by firearms in America every year.  Claiming that the solution to this tragic statistic is to put more guns on the streets, is like saying we can eliminate drunk driving deaths, by putting more drunk drivers on the streets.  You know, I'm sure the more we put on the streets, the more likely some would crash into each other, eliminating both from society!  Two birds!  Obviously, none of this makes sense.  We live in a gun-lovin' country, here in the States.  And with the recent shootings in Colorado and Wisconsin, we quickly become a gun-crazy country.  There is no comment more ridiculous, than the oft heard "if some bystander had been packin', those people wouldn't have died."  Total.  Complete.  Bullshit.  Oh wise sage, please tell us how many other things you can predict!  Nobody has any idea.  It's just as likely that more people may have died if someone else pulled a gun, as it is less.  Additional stray bullets in a crowded mall or theater, sure seems like a safer bet to me!  And spare me the 2nd Amendment arguments.  Unlike many who fly that flag with vigor, I've actually read what it says.  I have no problem with people possessing guns to protect their family and homes.  It's when you insist on taking them out of your homes, putting my family at risk, where my problem begins...                                   

Up In Smoke...

The stage is set for the latest round of the war on smoking, with the battle ground lying right here in Missouri.  As reported by KCTV 9, Missouri voters will be voting on Proposition B this November, a measure which will determine whether Missouri smokers will be hit with a 73 cents increase to the current tobacco tax.  Proponents of the measure, claim the tax hike will raise approximately $283 million in additional tax revenue.  Opponents claim the additional tax will hurt Missouri retailers.

Now, it's no secret that I'm a smoker, and a general supporter of smoker's rights in a society in which smokers are increasingly coming under attack.  Hell, I even created a KC Smokers Myspace page back when the local smoking ban came about.  A Myspace page?  Hey, I never claimed I was always the most mature.  In fact, I'm not terribly mature right now.  It did get me on the radio, however.  But I digress...

So with my smoking background, it's pretty clear where I'll come down on this issue, right?  Wrong.  I support the tax hike.  The reason I support it, is simple.  Revenue.  I could care less about the 20% being carved out for anti-smoking education, but I do care that 50% of the revenue will go towards public education, with the remaining 30% going to higher education.  Now, maybe I'm just being naive, in believing that these additional monies will actually be used as claimed.  But if it's true, it's a good thing.  That whole education thing, is important.  And it's no secret that Missouri (in particular the extreme east and west of the state), is not exactly a juggernaut in the education arena.  And it's also no secret, that currently money is pretty scarce in the state to improve it.

Obviously, I'm not the biggest fan of spending more money on one of my favorite vices.  And while this tax increase is significant, it was a long time coming.  Missouri has had the lowest tobacco tax in the country for quite awhile at 17 cents, and the American Lung Association has consistently given Missouri an failing grade on its approach tobacco.  Now, I doubt that this increase will really have that significant of an impact on retailers.  Smokers will smoke, and make no mistake that they will find a way to get their hands on their cigarettes.  And if it does cause some to stop smoking, well it's hard to argue that is somehow a bad thing.

So smokers, relax.  You'll still get to smoke in your favorite limited, designated smoking area, and enjoy the scowls from your non-smoking brethren.  You'll just have to do some penny pinching to do so.  And if you can't afford to smoke, you probably have bigger issues you should be focusing on...     

Let's Be Blunt...

I must admit, it is pretty awesome to live in a city that has no pressing problems.  A budget fully in order, no violent crimes, revenue streaming in, and neighborhoods lined with beautiful homes.  Wait, that's not the case in Kansas City?  Well, you could have fooled me.  With the City Council facing a myriad of serious problems, our esteemed council is taking on....paper.  Yes, as reported by KCTV 9, a vote will be held today to ban the sale of blunt wraps.  I'm sorry, allow me to correct that.  It's to ban the public display of blunt wraps.  I guess they're going with the "out of sight, out of mind" philosophy.  In short, a stupid waste of time.  The measure is being pushed by the Hickman Mills Prevention Coalition.  Yes, that would be the same Hickman Mills whose school district was just dropped to provisional accreditation because of sagging academic performance.  Must be those blueberry blunt wraps.  Or maybe, they should be focusing a little more on education than hiding paper products behind the latest Playboy magazine.

Let's address the measure, itself.  Exactly how many people, legally allowed to purchase tobacco products, are going to decide to not smoke that blunt today, because they just couldn't see the wrappers in the store?  I personally have witnessed on numerous occasions, some fine soul grilling a clerk about whether the store carries a particular brand/flavor of wrap, that is not displayed with the 15 other kinds.  Never too shy about it.  Plus, it's not like blunt wraps are exactly the typical impulse buy at your local 7-11.  "Yeah, I'll take this slushie.  Oh wait, how about I smoke a blunt today, too!"  Doesn't happen.  If you're going to the store for some smoking accessories, you're gonna walk out with some.  It's like banning the display of aluminum cans because some contain alcohol.   

So, I am preparing myself for the disappointment in not getting to peruse all the fabulous smoking flavors available these days, while waiting to pay for my coffee.  A wait that will be much longer, as "Jimmy the 7am Smoker" now has to ask for a complete rundown of the inventory from the clerk, rather than just seeing and choosing.  That added frustration could drive a man to smoke... 

Baby Talk...

In case you were becoming concerned that the Missouri Legislature wasn't continuing to waste its time on frivilous issues, have no fear.  As reported by the KC Star, today, legislators voted to overturn Gov. Nixon's veto of a bill, that would allow Missouri employers to refuse to provide health insurance coverage for birth control. 

Now, this makes perfect sense.  With the debate raging on over abortions, let's make it more costly (and potentially prohibitive) for women to actually prevent unwanted pregnancies and abortions.  But hey, who ever said the conservative zealots were rational, right?  The premise of the conservative argument is protecting an employers' religous rights, who do not support contraception in any form.  But what it really boils down to, is "Obamacare."  Yes, that terribly crafty word created in response to Obama's healthcare plan, aiming to ensure Americans have appropriate healthcare coverage, and lessening the burden of the uninsured on the American taxpayers.  We'll ignore the fact that a popular staunch conservative stance is that people "shouldn't be gettin' no handouts."  If you want to lift that burden off the American taxpayer, pushing women who can't afford contraception, into unwanted pregnancies, and ultimately hospital care to have their children, isn't the way to do that.  Don't like welfare?  Pushing women into having kids who can't afford to raise them, isn't the way to do away with that.  Oh yes, all women should follow through with pregnancies, so the children can go to loving, non-blood parents.  Do you think that's automatic?  The baby is born, and whoosh off to a new family?  No, that's not the typical way adoptions go down.  Typically they get funneled through an overburdened, government run (and taxypayer funded) system. 

So which way do you want it, Conservatives?  Ah yes, less government interference by shooting down programs, resulting in more government interference.  Someone wake me when the entire Republican platform, taken as whole, is not just one jumbled mess of mutually inconsistent ideologies.  I'll look forward to the long nap...      

Watching Me...Watching You!!!

On Tuesday, several new laws went into effect in the State of Missouri, many of which flew under the radar.  For the rednecks out there, there is quite ironically a new additional $15 fee for the Missouri "Don't Tread On Me" special license plate.  Sorry, looks like you just been tread upon.  And in true Missouri fashion, some new laws on concealed carry and switchblades have made an appearance as well.  Our state's problems have been solved, my fellow Missourians!  Anyway, if you want a full summary of the laws, you can go here.

One particular change that is receiving some attention, via a federal lawsuit, are the changes in Kelsey's Law.  As reported by KCTV 5, the restrictions on law enforcement getting its hands on cellphone tracking information, in response to emergencies, have eased.  Previously, telecommunications providers held discretion over whether or not to disclose tracking information on a client.  Under the revised law, providers will be required to turn over such information when a request involves a danger of death or serious physical injury to a person.  Of course, this presents a few problems related to but beyond the issue of privacy itself.  First, what/who determines whether a situation involves a danger of death or serious physical injury to a person?  Second, and in true law enforcement fashion, what are the restrictions on use of information obtained provided a situation ultimately did not involve such dangers?  I doubt there will be hesitation to use any information gained to prosecute any unrelated criminal activity.  We should expect a whole new era of 4th Amendment issues arising from the expansion of this law.

All that aside, the ultimate issue and complaint here is the invasion of privacy.  The fact is, anyone who still thinks they live in a world cloaked in privacy, is a fool.  In the era of GPS, cell phones, security cameras, traffic cameras, IP addresses and police scanning equipment, there ain't no privacy nowhere.  With the likelihood of little unmanned toy planes soon to be traversing our skies "for our protection," don't expect that to change.  Hell, I still believe that dragon flies are actually government drones, but whatever.
       
While I'm no supporter of the erosion of our privacy in modern society, I can't say I have a major issue with the changes in Kelsey's Law.  Many of the devices that have led to our diminishing privacy, are the very same devices we just can't live without, and pine for the latest and greatest.  Maybe I'm just getting old (okay, that's not a maybe), or the powers that be have effectively beaten me into submission, but at this point, I've accepted it's just the world we live in.  Sad, but true.  Now where the hell did my phone go?!

One Is The Loneliest Number...

With an immense amount of fanfare, filled with balloon animals and pony rides, The Jackalope News celebrated its first birthday this past Saturday!  Yes, one full year of reading shit on the internet, and telling you all about the shit I just read on the internet.  Profound doesn't even begin to describe it.

Anyway, it's been an interesting year in the quasi-news world.  Unfortunately, translating that into consistent posts hasn't always been easy.  If something doesn't particularly move me in either a comedic or blood boiling manner, I typically won't find the time to sit still for a few minutes and spew some words out.  Time in and of itself, is also a major bitch.  Believe it or not, I don't get paid to do this blog thing.  And obviously if it were my job, I would have been fired a long time ago.

So one year down the drain.  Many thanks to those that purposefully run by here on a regular basis.  And just so we're clear, I don't care if it's only because your work day is that extra special miserable.  To those who randomly walk into this mess of a blog, all wide-eyed and innocent, I'm not sorry.  Based on the shit you were searching for that brought you here, you are just as sick and twisted as my regulars.

Much love...